Hotel Rooms are One Big Metaphor for Magic



Every time I reserve multiple nights in a hotel, I come out of the experience realizing how great the idea of “magic” really is. If you take a second to think about hotel room service, it’s such an amazing fantasy into the unreality. The unreality of a life where you can just toss shit wherever you please, and within a few hours everything will be RIGHT back to where it just was without using any of your motor skills. What’s amazing about maid service is that no matter whatever hotels you stay at, the maids are always top notch magicians. I’ve stayed at some of the nicest hotels in the country, and some of the trashiest hotel rooms in the country.  *Both places equally serving a purpose known as therapy through isolation. Sometimes our best thoughts arise when isolated and alone. – The one thing these hotels always have in common is that no matter how messy you leave the room. No matter how many towels of your DNA clog up all corners. No matter how scattered the evidence from a night long $120 binge watch of a “In Room Order” are. You come right back in a few hours to find the place looking like The Mask just emptied a ski mountain of snow, and did a polishing on the place. It’s truly Magic. Things don’t move a fucking square inch from the original spot. Who doesn’t abuse the cup privileges they give you by excessive Mouth washing? Topping the gargle off with a flip toss to the floor ground. The moisturizers? The Maids know that the demands for moisturizers are so high, that if you even step into the lobby to gather ice from the vending machine, 7 brand new bottles will be perfectly placed right back to the side of the bed. Their final magic trick is with all the products in the shower.  You use, and you abuse, right before your morning coffee. Then bam, 6 brand new testicle sized shampoo bottles right back where they belong all ready for your night session. All ready as you drench yourself to smell fresh for your upcoming batting practice that awaits you. Cause hey, everybody needs good B. P. to get the night going.

~ Lets all take a second and bow down to the hotel maids of the country. They’re friendly, Work for almost no dinero, and will probably give you a free H J in exchange for just a smile.. They are the magicians we hope actually exist.

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