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In my opinion no one is more out of touch with modern technology than the guy leaving the stock Verizon email signature at the base of his emails: “This message sent from a 4G Verizon Galactic Drone hovering at ten thousand feet”.  With that being said, am I missing the point of hashtags?  I get that I’m 30, so I’m a little out of touch.  But who the fuck is indexing Instagram based on #tagforlikes?  Do real people do random google-like hashtag searches in Instagram?  I’m serious?  Am I becoming the email signature guy?  I mean if hashtags have a useful function I’m down with them, but I feel like I’m missing a key ingredient?   Are people 25 years and down typing #tagforlikes or #addme into an Instagram search to see what material pops up?  I mean there are actual fucking careers these days built around being a “hashtag specialist”.  Which is all fine by me, as long as there a hashtag market.  It’s one thing to want your pic to look edgy and add hashtags to it so you feel like a celebrity, but it’s a huge step to be the sack of mud searching through random #family tags.  I mean people will take a pic of their 12 year old sister and add #family to the caption.  What fucking good could possibly come out of that?  A stranger typing #family into an Intagram search is the last guy you need eyeing a pic of your 12 year old sister.  And again, I may just be getting older and losing touch; but I’d like to think I have an open mind.  In essence, I don’t enjoy the Jonas Brothers or trap music but I can understand the appeal.  So what is it, people whore #themselves and their #family out to the underbelly of Instagram in hopes for some added likes?  May be the case, maybe I’m out of touch; regardless, the one thing we can all agree upon is that the lead singer from #U2 is hiding something under those #shades.  #whatisit?

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This article was written by Hugh Honey. Vic Vinegar is now finished.

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