How many times has Kane died?

Kane+EW+Syfy+Celebrate+Comic+Con+nBBhsbriEDgl

 The WWF wrestler Kane could have potentially passed away several times in the last 15 years, and no one would really have known because of the consistent mask.

You can actually say that about anyone who steadily wears a mask, but Kane in particular has a high potential for death.  For instance; if someone asked you who you think would pass away first: Kane, or George Clooney…..Kane is a heavy favorite, -$6500?  Both are successful actors, you know nothing about either, yet it is kind of assumed that Kane has passed away before, or could die at any second.  I don’t think I’m off base here.  The WWF is filled with very strong, self-assured acrobats who dabble in fictional assault.  The only thing that keeps a guy like Kane out of a remote prison is artificial-happiness generated through the cheers and jeers of a stadium crowded with brazen virgins.  What does the guy behind Kane do on Christmas Eve?  On a Tuesday off?  You think he just chills?  You think Aaron Hernandez doesn’t shoot people in his off season?  NFL players, WWF wrestlers, goons, goblins, hot chicks, and friends of the aforementioned all hurt others in their free time.  They are alpha, hence their success.  Every morning I wake up I pray to the Statistical God that I don’t cross paths with the current Kane actor, I like my neck unsnapped just as much as Vince McMahone likes his current Kane actor unstable and preying.

2a39b4bb220efe48c7f90372821597e2_display_image

Yea, the bald guy above just “grew that hair”, more likely he passed away and was replaced

This article was written by Hugh Honey. Vic Vinegar is now finished.

Be first to comment