I Don’t Have to See The Muppets to know that it’s a Brutal Film

Why does Rotten Tomatoes constantly rank children’s movies so high?  Whenever they release a new kid’s movie critics collectively start humming on its asshole, they’ll give it 100% positive reviews, no joke.  I guarantee that The Muppets is unbearable for anyone over the age of 14.  Not only that, but it’s recycled material.  I’ll tell you why they give it good reviews, because Jim Henson is dead and The Muppets are a quote-unquote “classic”.  Fuck you Hollywood.

How do you throw The Muppets a 98% and then splash “Me, Myself and Irene” with a 48 bomb.  I just checked and even Arthur’s Christmas scored a 92%.  These are not good all-around movies.  Maybe they are decent kids movies, but then put them in separate categories like they do in minor league baseball.  If a guy is batting .404 in double A, you don’t go around saying he’s a .404 major league baseball hitter.

This article was written by Hugh Honey. Vic Vinegar is now finished.

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