9/11 Suspects Offer to Confess at Gitmo Trials

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba — In a highly dramatic turn of events, the top five terrorists behind the Sept. 11 attacks told a military judge Monday that they want to confess their guilt and find martyrdom in their execution. The defendants said they made their decision Nov. 4, when Barack Obama was elected U.S. president. The purported ringleader who drew up the detailed plans for the attack, along with the other four co-defendants decided not to continue defending themselves against the capital charges, they told the judge.

I am calling complete bullshit. You don’t have to convert Al Sharpton Muslim to expose what’s going on here. When Obama was elected the Bush campaign undoubtedly turned up the temperature on the blowtorches at Gitmo. Doesn’t it seem peculiar that all of the sudden these dudes are crying out for the noose? And fuck martyrdom, everyone knows that Saddam is the Michael Jordan of Sunni Muslims, and even he stood trial like a champ. What fun is roping up terrorists if you can’t even watch them beg for their mercy on CNN for six months? None.

This article was written by Hugh Honey. Vic Vinegar is now finished.

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